As we were leaving town last Friday, we spotted “My Buddy” walking around the parking lot of the church next door. Its been weeks (or possibly months) since we’ve seen him exercising here. However, there have been sightings reported near Leisure World where he was described as hurried and towing a suitcase. He has also shaved his head recently - which totally destroyed his crazy madman hairstyle.
Here is the best snapshot we could pull off in the extremely limited time we had on Friday. Take a close look at the lower left hand corner of the photo and you will “clearly” see him.
I just spent about an hour looking at North Korea on Google Earth. Aside from what you would expect to find (sprawling nuclear plants, communist housing, and other military-related sites), there are plenty of other interesting things to be seen. Huge structures, deserted highways, abandoned amusement parks, and tons of other unknown objects. Surprisingly, you can get pretty decent looking satellite photos of major cities such as Pyongyang. Wondering what the hell is in the picture above? Well, the dome looking thing is The People’s Palace of Culture. The other massive structure would have been the world’s tallest hotel, but is currently the world’s tallest pyramid shaped, windowless, unoccupied, and unfinished building (with an abandoned crane on the top).
There are plenty of other interesting things to be found in the surrrounding area. This is a huge unused 10-lane highway that I followed for miles until I spotted this car (along with some other google earth user). P’yongyang doesn’t have many traffic problems from what I can tell from this picture…
Tim John Phil from the PDRK has approved this article. Check the comments for proof.
As soon as I saw the Abu Musab al-Zarqawi death photos, I came up with the newest smokehound.com feature - The ED Comparison. I have been doing these for years, and it seems to cause an unreasonable amount of controversy every time. This how it works:
You see a person who reminds you of someone else and then you report the sighting to whoever is around. That’s it! Pretty fucking simple right? Well, not for some people…
Behold the First Online ED Comparison:
The Controversy Begins….
So what do you think about this? Am I totally off-base with this one? I tried to find a better shot of Beetlejuice that really demonstrates what I’m thinking, but this is the best I could find after my exhaustive 2-minute image search. Do you have a problem with this assessment? Comment about it or fuck off!
She is still there. Trust me on this one. I didn’t have the courage to take a picture of her, but I can assure you that she is still yelling in the grill section of the Mt. Airy McDonalds.
“It’s not a rag, its a towel!”
The most important lesson a young person can learn.
“Skippy - take a break.”
I walked in about 15 minutes after changeover on a Saturday morning. It was begginning to slow down and as usual - She had her schedule out and was barking out orders to take breaks before the lunch rush.
“I think he has A.D.D.”
Its good to know that Anna May is still working as a doctor/swing manager.
Do you ever sit around and ask yourself - What the fuck has Steven Seagal been doing lately? Well, I don’t ask that question either, but I can tell you the answer to what he’s been doing - Making the shittiest tasting energy drinks since Monster Energy.
Here is some great info from his website: A master of several Japanese martial arts, Steven Seagal is a popular action movie hero whose films combine spiritual concepts and social/environmental consciousness with high-voltage violence.
Steven Seagal Enterprises was formed in 2004 as a way for Steven Seagal to share his wisdom and experience of energy with the world. The infinite wisdom of Steven Seagal combined with an experienced Sales and Marketing team has made it possible for Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt to emerge as one of the most unique energy drinks on the market.
Just when I thought I knew everything there is to know about energy - Steven Seagal appears and shares his wisdom and experience with me! Man, do I feel stupid now. Here I am talking to everyone with a barely audible whisper, and thinking I’m doing everything I can to conserve and use my energy efficiently. As it turns out, I also need to drink 16 ounces of B-Vitamins, Ginseng, Goji Berry, Guarana, and Cordyceps at least twice a day. What the fuck are Cordyceps?
All this doesn’t matter anyhow, because like his movies - This shit fucking sucks. OK, so its not the the worst tasting energy drink out there, but its pretty bad. It’s not exactly unique either, considering the fact that every other energy drink on the shelf at 7-11 has the exact same fucking ingredients (except the cordyceps). Also, just about every rapper, wrestler, and NASCAR driver seems to have their own energy drink. So I guess it all boils down to one question - “What the fuck are Cordyceps?”
UPDATE: The Cordyceps used in the energy drink are Asian Cordyceps apparently. We have also discovered that Lightning Bolt is sweetened with all natural Polisweet™. Is this some sort of proprietary sweetener developed by Steven Seagal himself? We will find out.
UPDATE 2: Cordyceps are a type of fungus. Steven Seagal is solely responsible for introducing this to the energy drink world.
UPDATE 3: Our investigative reporters have discovered that Steven Seagal is making these drinks in his basement. Few people realize that energy drinks are very simular to Meth Labs in that they are highly explosive. Lets HOPE that Steven Seagal doesn’t blow himself up - being that he’s no stranger to explosions.
Smokehound.com investigative reporters have recently uncovered a news story from a few months ago that was buried by the government at city, state and federal levels. The story reported an incident that took place the day after Hurricane Katrina swept through New Orleans. Reportedly a spontaneous storm formed and “touched down” on a single city block in the middle of Baltimore, Maryland. While the storm, presumably a tornado or some kind, touched down for a reported mere 3 seconds, it managed to wreak havoc and cause massive destruction as it ripped through homes, and claimed many lives.
The only angle on this is Yanni’s face in proportion to his hot oily and hairy body. Yanni was arrested when Google alerted authorities after they indexed his HDD and found evidence he was a steroid user. When the cops showed up at Yanni’s beachfront property, they quickly found themselves in the fucking middle of the domestic dispute widely reported in the news today… Therefore, this is why you will only read about the domestic dispute - not the steroid charges.
We actually have obtained video taken at the time of the arrest, but we are still in the process of getting it cleared for public release. We also have to take extra time to highlight the helicopters seen flying nearby and to anaylze the loud boom sounds heard right before the arrest. Keep tuned… [Read more →]
I went to the post office this morning and mailed off my tax refunds. Everything was pretty normal - I paid for the postage, applied the stickers, and handed the envelopes to the post office guy to mail. I’m walking away when I notice the guy in line behind me starts to walk towards the same post office guy I just bought postage from. All of the sudden, the post office guy yells out “THERE HE IS!!!” in a sarcastic “I don’t really know you but I’m gonna act like I do because it’s kind of funny” way. I was pissed! Thats my thing! Oh well.
He’s back - The best DJ in the world… any world. After 4 years of forced hiatus, DJ Ehd has returned to fight racism and broken records.
Download the new single here:
Like a lot of people, I became aware of “contemporary pirates” a few weeks ago when the cruise ship attack off the coast of Somalia was all over the news. I instantly became fascinated with these terrorists that apparently do this sort of shit all the time. It just doesn’t make the news until western tourists become involved.
Somalia has been without a functioning national government for 14 years, when they received their independence from Italy. Since then, it has been complete anarchy. Warlords have control and most of the country is living in extreme poverty. It is also believed that the country is a hotbed for Al-Qaeda types. But Somalia isn’t the only area where this pirating shit goes down. It happens all over the place - Indonesia, Africa, The Carribean, and basically everywhere else. [Read more →]
Alright, everyone shaves…in fact, 103 million men (91 percent of the US male population) age 15 years and older remove hair in some fashion. Of those people, 73% of men who shave use a blade and razor, while the remaining 27% use electric shavers. Coincidentally, about 27% of the US male population that shaves is also gay.
I got some exciting news today from an anonymous source about the new Microsoft Windows Vista. According to him, the new MS Windows operating system will allow you to run 3 programs at the same time for a low subscription fee! Wow I thought, this is an amazing feat. Imagine - you could surf the Internet, listen to a MP3, AND chat on AIM - SIMULTANIOUSLY!!! I was so excited about the prospect of “extreme multi-tasking” that I looked it up on the Internet as soon as I got home. Unfortunately, this is what I found…. [Read more →]
Bingow Baby! Smokehound.com has found Barry “The Stallion” Strieb in St. Pete Beach, Florida. We managed to have a civilized meal at The Stallion’s new restaurant “The Brass Monkey” while we chatted with the Stallion himself. After we hashed out a few things, Stal got up to “get a beer” and never returned…
Exclusive Video!
Afterwards, the shit got extremely hectic on the beach. Don’t worry, there is video.
Yesterday we had our first true Iranian visitor! We were looking at our Google Analytics and our map of the world was noticeably different. Normally, the orange dots appear only over the US. But yesterday, an orange dot appeared over Iran. WOW!!!!! We think highly of people from Iran as they have the best food in the world. If you’re from Iran and you stumble upon smokehound.com, [please] send us your recipies! [Read more →]
Warning - You have used over 90% of your soft disc quota. You might want to tidy up your server space and remove uneeded files. If you think you need more disc space, order additional services.
I love seeing that shit everytime I log on to my hosting account. Fuck IPOWERWEB
Ever since 2001, I have been under the hypnosis of “Baltimore’s John Zorn”. He has been the executive producer of my life from that point forward. Everything I’ve created or had a hand in making - this website, my famous homemade waffles, and the shitpics - have been under his guidance and absolute authority.
The most troubling fact about this hypnosis is that I am not alone. There were (in my best estimate) at least 25 other people present in the room during that mass involuntary hypnosis. We were all duped into believing we were watching some sort of “experimental performance art”. But in fact, we were being initiated into a dark underworld headed by “Baltimore’s John Zorn”.
He got there before us. I had a feeling he would try some underhanded shit like that. We rolled up to Hell House a little while after he left the area, we assume. I was a running late (editing Come Out! for the 20th time) and we also got hung up at Lotte plaza (looking for bottled water). [Read more →]
Our experts picked up an extremely dangerous exploit in Windows XP Service Pack 2. At 23:47pm EST on December 30 2005, we uncovered a previously undiscovered critical security flaw that allows any hacker or social delinquent to destroy all data within a three mile radius of the comprimised system.
We have a number of sites that we have found with this exploit. Different sites download different destroyware. We only had a handful of websites using this new exploit but now we are seeing many more using this to install bad stuff. These image files can be modified very easily to download any destroyware, malware, or hyper-virus.
I hit one site with a fully patched XP system last night and it was pretty intense—it went right through and infected my machine with this happiness:
There’s not allot to say. Its been proven. Ant Lion 1; a U.S. Government Top Secret Underground Magnetic Resonance Detention and Reality Manipulation Facility spearheaded by Govenor Bob Ehrlich, EXISTS! [Read more →]
Location: New York City - Greenwich Village (near NYU)
Address: 119 MacDougal St. New York, NY 10012
Website: http://www.mamounsfalafel.com
Region: Syria
Have you ever tried to eat 3 full meals at the same restaurant on the same night? I tried. My friends had to put me in a headlock and throw me to the ground to stop me from eating at Mamoun’s for the third time in less than 3 hours. I was out of control, but it was worth it. [Read more →]
Slim Shaney (aka Smiley) rolled up to Hooters in Laurel, MD today. When approached and asked to comment he responded “I have no idea what that guy is talking about”.
You don’t know who Slim Shaney is? Well, here are a few facts which make Slim Shaney a noteworthy person. [Read more →]
Smokehound.com is pleased to announce the re-release of the classic DJ Ehd single from the brutal Iron DJ Competitions in 2002 (which DJ Ehd dominated). This song is like a wild ride through hyperspace on generic Tamiflu.
Warning - You have used over 90% of your soft disc quota. You might want to tidy up your server space and remove uneeded files. If you think you need more disc space, order additional services.
